my flawsBefore you read it any further, I might as well warn you that I'm going to bore you with a post full of rants.
I can say I'm feeling blue right now. I'm not a good friend, really, and when I say really, I mean that. I don't know what I've actually been busy with but I tend to forget to reply my friends' text/call/bbm. If I might have an excuse, I unintentionally did that. It's one of my bad habits and some of my friends have ever complained about that and still, I keep doing that. Worse, I don't even try to get rid of it.
Sometimes, I'm too busy with myself, that I don't make time for my friends, like simply asking how they've been doing. or perhaps I wait for them to ask me how I've been doing.. Guess I only miss being missed, or guess it's just an excuse from me. It is said that when you wanna make friend, be one. Unfortunately, I let them get used to my absence. That awkward feeling when your friends talk about something and they don't include you in that conversation. That awkward feeling when your friends talk about something and you know nothing about that, and you feel left out.
Furthermore, sometimes, once in awhile, I notice that I come to a point that I somehow feel annoyed with my friends' attitude. I might think they're irritating, and then I keep telling myself it's wrong to feel that way. I've been trying to be good, but there will always be that one day that I find out their flaws and I can't compromise with that and another day, boom! I can deal with it, or I should say I don't even mind that. Well, it's just a temporary feeling. But I just feel really bad afterwards, cause people say, if they're really your best friends, you won't mind they bad habits. Therefore I'm saying, I'm not a good friend. Right.
Sigh, I wrote this post in the beginning in hope that I'd feel slightly better after spilling out this burden. In fact, it didn't. Don't think I can find a person just as bad as me.. At times like this, I really hope that I have someone to cheer me up. Gotta end this post before I sound any more insecure than this. Bye.